Andy Richardson
When you’re drawing up your draft board, there’s a good chance you’ve got some players you want nothing to do with. Maybe you formally exclude them from your online rankings, or maybe you’ve conditioned yourself not to draft certain players -- sort of like the programming that prevents robots from attacking humans early on in science fiction movies, until something goes awry.
Naturally, I’ve got one of those lists, too, organized from A (Arizona) through W (Washington). And here it is.
Arizona: Leonard Pope. You may hear a lot this preseason about how the Cardinals’ third-round pick from a year ago is going to bust out this year. Sure, that’s why so many great fantasy tight ends these days come from teams who also have great wide receivers.
Atlanta: Michael Vick. I love dogs. Enough said.
Baltimore: Steve McNair. 2006 was considered a comeback year for McNair, who started 16 games for the first time since 2002. And threw a total of 16 TDs. No thank you.
Buffalo: Anthony Thomas. I’ve already drafted Marshawn Lynch once this year, and I didn’t bother with the Thomas handcuff. Why? Because the A-Train is like Gordon in my son’s Thomas the Tank Engine set: aging, slowing, and ready to be decommissioned.
Carolina: DeShaun Foster. Remember Foster’s amazing NFC Championship Game-clinching touchdown run against the Eagles a few years back? He carried three tacklers into the end zone that day. I think that was his last highlight.
Chicago: Rex Grossman. Lovie Smith can leave him out there as long as he wants, but I’m not a fan of the “cutting off one’s nose to spite one’s face” school of coaching.
Cincinnati: Defense. Too many of these Bengals seem destined to have the wrong kind of stripes on their uniforms.
Cleveland: Kellen Winslow. Coming off preseason knee surgery relating to an injury suffered two years ago. Not a headache I need.
Dallas: Terrell Owens. Isn’t fantasy football stressful enough without counting on someone who in the last two years has been kicked off one team and may or may not have attempted suicide while playing for his next one? I think it is.
Denver: Daniel Graham. I figure Graham has about a 1-in-4 chance to catch a TD when Denver’s around the goal line. And those odds only count balls thrown to the tight end position.
Detroit: T.J. Duckett. Last preseason there was a three-way trade in which Washington got Duckett, Atlanta got Ashley Lelie, and the Broncos got a third-round draft pick. I guess Mike Shanahan really is The Mastermind.
Green Bay: Bubba Franks. This one is too easy. Nice guy, that Bubba, but shortly after signing a new contract two years ago he not only lost the ability to catch but apparently remain upright. Franks is a better blocker than an empty uniform lying forlornly on the field, but that’s about it.
Houston: Whoever starts across from Andre Johnson. One of these years the Texans will come up with a serviceable No. 2 wideout. After spending the offseason trading for a quarterback and signing a top running back, while largely ignoring the wide receiver position, this probably isn’t the one.
Indianapolis: Nobody. I guess their defense, but that’s a little too easy, too. Given the shootouts ahead for this team, almost any offensive player on the Colts has a shot at catching at least 5 TDs this year, except for Peyton Manning himself.
Jacksonville: Any wide receiver. Fool me once, shame on … you get the idea.
Kansas City: Eddie Kennison. Old, unhappy with his contract, catching passes from a bad quarterback, playing on a declining offense for an ultra-conservative coach. Other than that, he’s a wonderful prospect.
Miami through Washington: Coming soon!
Andy Richardson is a contributing editor to Fantasy Football Index.
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