Admittedly, there's not much left to say, right? We previewed the game. A dozen experts laid out how they think it will go down. We pulled out some random factoids on players, took a deep dive into all the prop bets, and discussed it ad nauseam. Just play the thing already!
Here, though, are the things I personally will be watching the game for.
Gladys Knight singing the National Anthem. Somebody who I follow on Twitter and otherwise respect said last week that he didn't know who Gladys Knight was. Guh. I mean, if you haven't heard "Midnight Train to Georgia" by this point in your life, you're missing out. At the very least, surely you remember "That's what friends are for"? Evidently, I'm damn old. Whatever, I'm looking forward to hearing her sing the thing.
Todd Gurley. Gurley had a dreadful NFC Championship Game. Had the Rams lost, he'd be the one wearing goat horns (yes, I come from a time when being the goat was a bad thing). But now he gets a chance to rebound and remind everyone of why he was the top pick in every fantasy league (except for the poor saps who selected LeVeon Bell, I guess). I expect the Patriots defense to focus on Gurley with the idea of making Jared Goff try to beat them, but I also expect Sean McVay to expect that and come up with creative ways to get Gurley the ball. And I expect that New England will expect...sorry, I'll stop. Anyway, Gurley is key to the Rams offense having success, and he's my only player remaining in a playoff-long fantasy league, so I'm rooting for a big game.
Commercials. Time was the cool commercials were just a part of the experience of watching the Super Bowl. More recently, every commercial is completely over the top as advertisers try to stand out and capture the popular consciousness the next morning. I'm hoping for something smart -- something distinctive, but not ridiculously so, ala Puppy Monkey Baby, which still kind of gives me nightmares. Will there be an intelligent and also funny/witty/cool commercial this year? Advertisers have 3-4 hours and a limitless budget to work with. Impress me!
Aside: these TV shows with Boomer Esiason and some random actress running down the best Super Bowl commercials are the absolute worst things to appear on television each year. Stupid, recycled, scripted banter, just painful to watch. Cringe-inducing from start to finish.
Halftime show. Maroon 5 has some good songs, I guess. Not really my thing, but they're your standard Super Bowl act: some songs the young uns' like, some songs the old ones have heard of, and nothing that will offend the delicate sensibilities of the more quick to offend out there. Perhaps Cardi B will make a surprise appearance for her riff from "Girls Like You"? Probably not. Also appearing are Big Boi (from Outkast, they had some great songs, but he'll probably be featuring a solo hit) and Travis Scott, who my teenage son is a big fan of and we're apparently seeing him in concert a month from now, perhaps he'll get the older folk to change the channel in dismay. Whatever, I kind of enjoy the halftime show for the novelty of it, and the hope that some artist tries to slip something onto the screen that Roger Goodell has to awkwardly try and apologize for the next day.
Square pools. I've got three different squares (so far) and probably more to come. One hasn't picked numbers yet. The other two I have 8 and 9 and 8 and 0. Mulling possible combinations of numbers, it seems pretty clear I won't be winning any first-quarter or halftime squares. I'd say 28-20 or 28-10 is a reasonable possibility. I suppose 28-19 could happen. Realistically, I threw my money away, but there's a fundraiser element to all the ones I'm in, so at least there's that.
Patriots losing. Probably wishful thinking, I realize. Like most of America, I have Patriots fatigue in the same way people had 49ers fatigue in the 80s and Cowboys fatigue in the 90s. Great dynasty, really impressive in the salary cap era, yada yada. We get it. I'm of the opinion that Bill Belichick is the main reason (that's right Cleveland, all of this could have been yours); that it's so rare for one coach/decision-maker to stay in one place for such a long time before the inevitable clash with the GM (basically him) or owner (yes, give Bob Kraft a gold star for signing checks and staying the hell out of the way). Yeah Tom Brady's great. Belichick could have won a bunch with other quarterbacks.
Since the most likely scenario is the Patriots winning, I am wondering a little what this might mean for the franchise if and when they do. They have some free agents. Gronk might retire. And what does Belichick then do for an encore? Doesn't the idea of a new challenge elsewhere become at least something he thinks about? Does returning to the Patriots to try to win Super Bowl LIV really sound that enticing? Just spitballing here.
Although I'm weary of the Patriots, I actually don't care that much who wins. I hope my prop bets go well. I hope we get a good, competitive game. I hope to get it behind us so I can set up the 2019 version of my main dynasty league at myfantasyleague.com -- it's killing me to wait, I tell you. I hope the food at the party is good.
And I hope some other AFC team can figure out how to get to this game a year from now, because seriously. We've had enough, man.
--Andy Richardson