Bum Phillips passed away on Friday. He was a good coach but even better behind the microphone. Maybe the most quotable coach in NFL history.
O.A. “Bum” Phillips died on Friday at age 90. He made his mark on the game. He was part of the NFL fabric.
Phillips was a good coach. In six seasons with the Houston Oilers, he went 59-38, with a pair of losses in AFC Championship games against Pittsburgh. One of those had a controversial, tight end-zone call that helped the Steelers. He was fired, oddly, after going 11-5 in 1980 (how do you fire a coach who went 11-5?)
Phillips wasn’t as successful in New Orleans, finishing with a losing record in each of his five seasons – 27-42 overall. But he knew what he was doing, and his son (Wade Phillips) also went on to become a notable coach.
Phillips largest contribution, however, was how he handled the media. Many coaches over the years have been quick with a one-liner, but Phillips might have been the best of all of them. Some of his best lines during his 11 years:
“There are two types of coaches: them that have just been fired, and them that are going to be fired.”
“Two kinds of football players ain’t worth a damn. One that never does what he’s told, and the other that never does anything except what he’s told.”
“He can that hisn and beat yourn, and he can take yourn and beat hisn.”
“An expert is an ordinary fella away from home.”
(Saints preparing to face Earl Campbell) “Maybe what I’ll do is have them jump offsides every play. That way, they only get five yards at a time, and Earl’s average is 5.7 yards per carry.”
“I never scrimmage Oilers against Oilers. What for? Houston isn’t on our schedule.”
(After the South team he was coaching lost in the Senior Bowl) “I know why we lost the Civil War. We must have had the same officials.”
(Asked if Archie Manning will call his own plays) “No, he’ll call our plays. We aren’t going to let him make up any.”
(On defensive tackle Elvin Bethea) “He doesn’t get hurt. He’s a hurter, not a hurtee.”
(Is Dennis Winston’s holdout over money?) “We don’t supply women, so it must be money.”
“The first game sorta reminds me of those 80-year-old newlyweds. We know something is gonna happen. It’s just a question of when.”
“You don’t know a ladder has splinters in it until you slide down it.”
Phillips: “Ken Stabler is like Earl Campbell. He may not be in a class by himself, but it doesn’t take long to call the roll.” Reporter: “That’s an old quote.” Phillips: “That’s an old quarterback.”
(After losing second straight AFC Championship game to Pittsburgh) "Last year we knocked on the door. This year we beat on it. Next year we're going to kick the son of a bitch in."
He was an original. Added nice color to the game. He will be remembered.
--Ian Allan