Sometimes you watch football games and what stands out are the things that annoy you more than the things that thrill you. Stuff that makes you say, Man, I want to run my own team, and I won't do stupid things like that team is doing! So you go out with a bunch of friends and form your own league of teams of your favorite players. And you call it fantasy football.
Bills versus Jaguars in Merry Olde England: A little early in the morning for football, and the Bills certainly played like it early on. Trailing 24-3, they came all the way back to take a lead (another pick 6 of Blake Bortles, that's why you start defenses against him) before falling late. Great game by T.J. Yeldon against a Bills defense that is shockingly mediocre at this point despite plenty of talent. Big games from Robert Woods (who few started) and touchdowns from both Jacksonville Allens. About the only guy who let you down was the one everyone started, LeSean McCoy, who did put up 100 total yards, so there's that.
Saints at Colts: Tough to figure the Saints, beyond guessing that the Colts are even more messed up right now. Can Chuck Pagano be fired during the season? And with a first-place team? Team can't be happy. The Colts are 3-4 but could easily have lost every game; seriously. You got some great numbers out of the Colts passing game, but that happens sometimes when you fall behind 20-0. Brandin Cooks finally had a decent game, probably benched in many leagues, while Willie Snead had a poor one, probably starting. Big game for Ingram. Elderly Ben Watson had a couple of near-misses at touchdowns; don't blame yourself if you started him. Colts tight ends, meanwhile, don't seem to be involved in the passing game.
Steelers at Kansas City: Hope you gave Charcandrick West a second chance, because he was very good in this game. Pittsburgh should have Ben Roethlisberger back next week and be much better, although at least you got good production out of Antonio Brown and Martavis Bryant. Not surprising to see Kansas City win this game; not a terrible defense or team.
Vikings at Lions: Pretty good defense the Vikings are playing right now. Granted the Lions make it easier because they can't run the ball to save their lives. They really need to rethink basically everything they're doing, including finding a tight end who can block. You can't just go out there with Eric Ebron and Tim Wright as your players at the position and expect to move people off the ball. ... Great touchdown catch by Stefon Diggs. Picked the wrong offseason to trade for Charles Johnson in dynasty; at least I only gave up Terrance West. ... Another solid game for Megatron, another poor one for Golden Tate. Looks like Tate's looks are going to Ebron. It'd be harder to criticize the approach if the team weren't 1-6.
Texans at Dolphins: When your team gets blown out early, all you want to avoid is a senseless injury late in the game. So a big fail for the Texans, who lost Arian Foster to an Achilles injury. Houston was already in trouble this season, and they're not going to turn things around with Chris Polk (running as the backup lately) and Alfred Blue. Brian Hoyer struggled before padding stats late, but tough to bench him with backup Ryan Mallett missing the team flight to Miami. Yes, that actually happened. ... Big games for Lamar Miller and Jarvis Landry. Guess firing the coach has worked out well for Miami.
Jets at Patriots: Looking at the final score you might not know the Jets kind of kept the Patriots in check for much of the game and seemed en route to winning, but they didn't play 60 minutes of defense and New England scored a pair of touchdowns late. Including one where Gronkowski wasn't covered, might want to put a body or two on him. But a pretty good game and if you rolled the dice on Amendola, who benefited from the absence of Dion Lewis more than fill-in James White. Brandon LaFell returned but had a few drops. Maybe next week. Nobody can say they weren't warned away from Blount, who did zip. ... Chris Ivory caught a touchdown, saving an otherwise tough day. Brandon Marshall disappointed; can't do it every week. Eric Decker stepped up. Entertaining game. Still think the Jets will be there late in the year.
Browns at Rams: Always nice when a game goes how you expect. Todd Gurley and the Rams Defense were fantastic choices in every league and daily lineup you could have possibly played. Gary Barnidge went over 100 yards and Travis Benjamin and Duke Johnson did OK in PPR leagues. And no one else did much of anything. Gurley, just as the numbers suggest, is doing it all for the Rams right now, with big run after big run. Pat yourself on the back if you took the plunge on draft day.
Falcons at Titans: So Matt Ryan and Julio Jones lost a touchdown in this game on a questionable bit of officiating (both on the initial call and the non-reversal), and then Devonta Freeman lost a chance on that stupid "give the ball to the fullback" play that I'm not sure I've seen work all season, for anyone. There's a reason these guys are fullbacks and it's not because they're so awesome carrying the ball. But, Falcons win, even with Leonard Hankerson inactive, and no one really picking up the slack. ... Titans offense didn't do much, not rewarding those with faith in Zach Mettenberger. Although Delanie Walker and Kendall Wright, the only guys anyone should have actually been starting, had fine fantasy days (7-55 for Walker, 4-46-1 for Wright). Take it and be happy you didn't waste a lineup spot on a Titans running back, although McCluster helped you in PPR. So there's that.
Buccaneers at Washington: Bucs raced out to a huge lead. Washington raced back with an even huger comeback. Big 2-TD game by Jordan Reed, including the game winning touchdown on a dart by Kirk Cousins with the team losing by 6 in the final seconds. OK, maybe some team should have traded for Cousins. ... Another ugly stat line for Alfred Morris and the Washington run game in general. Part of it is falling behind 24-0, but I think we can just say you can't start Morris at all right now. ... Doug Martin looked really good. Unlucky not to get in the end zone on a powerful goal-line run.
Raiders at Chargers: I think the rule of Survivor Pools (I would have picked St. Louis, but I was knocked out last week, so who cares what I would have done), which I used to think was Don't start road teams, is in fact Avoid division rivalries. Would the Raiders have come out so resoundingly capable against just anybody? ... Big game for Murray, Carr, the wide receivers. A couple of awesome individual efforts by Amari Cooper, who's everything Oakland could have asked for so far. More strong numbers for Rivers, Allen and Woodhead especially, all in a spirited but futile Chargers comeback attempt. Ladarius Green didn't kill you with Gates out, and presumably you didn't touch Gordon. Guy's got to prove it before he can be used.
Cowboys at Giants: Cowboys fan friend took his son to this game. At least he got to see more offensive touchdowns out of his team than New York managed. A really awful game by Matt Cassel. Better than Brandon Weeden? Uh, I don't think so actually. A few good throws, including a nice touchdown to Devin Street, but a couple of appalling ones, too. The interceptions, yes, but how about a 4-yard completion in the waning moments to Gavin Escobar on 4th and 10? What is the point of that? He's open for a reason. ... No comment on the Giants 4-man committee at running back. Pick up Orleans Darkwa if you must, but again. 4-man committee. ... Darren McFadden had a turn back the clock game. Christine Michael had one more carry (5) than Lucky Whitehead (4).
Eagles at Panthers: Last year's historic group of rookie wideouts isn't having a great year, collectively. Probably the most disappointing is Jordan Matthews, who can't blame injury or extra defensive attention for his poor year. Multiple drops in this game. There is plenty of blame to go around for Philadelphia's disappointing offense, but he's part of it. ... A shame Dallas didn't re-sign DeMarco Murray. He'd be having a better year in Dallas, and Ryan Mathews would be an easy weekly start in Philadelphia. Instead he's a guy you probably have on your bench when he breaks a long touchdown run. ... What Carolina is doing with its group of nothing wide receivers is pretty remarkable.
Monday, Monday: I've got a lot of matchups and money at stake in this game tonight, so I'm rooting for a high-scoring affair. Baltimore's pass defense has been poor enough that I think we should get it. Maybe 27-20 Arizona, with Steve Smith Sr., Larry Fitzgerald and Carson Palmer reminding a national audience that older isn't always worse.