It's gotten so you can't count on anything in the NFL. The Titans losing to the Bills. The Ravens losing to the Browns. Teams kicking 63-yard field goals to win games. And remember when years would pass between tie games? We've had 2 ties and 3-4 other games go down to the final seconds of overtime, and it's Week 5. Crazy.
Titans at Bills: So the Bills are 2-3, with wins against the Vikings and Titans. Go figure. Titans lost this one on a couple of miscues, including a dropped touchdown by Nick Williams, but hey, that's why you don't rely on Nick Williams making a downfield catch to win a game. I guess the Bills can play a little defense at times, and the Titans are conservative enough in most ways that they can lose to anybody. Derrick Henry might have had a good game if he'd gotten more than 11 carries. Corey Davis struggled against a possibly underrated Buffalo secondary. 211 yards of passing in this game, from both teams combined.
Giants at Panthers: Let it be noted that I did think the Giants would cover the spread. Granted, I also thought it would be lower scoring. Tough loss for the Giants; I had the local radio announcers on during the end of the game remarking that last year the Giants lost to the Eagles on a 61-yard field goal at the end. "That won't happen again, right?" they said. Well... Good games for Odell Beckham and Saquon Barkley, with couple of TDs each (including from one to the other on a trick play). Giants have taken some heat for passing up Sam Darnold to take Barkley, and Darnold looked really good yesterday. I basically agree with the criticism, but that doesn't take away that Barkley's a really good player. Anyway, so is Christian McCaffrey; Panthers win.
Dolphins at Bengals: Really unusual game. Dolphins dominated most of it, with Kenyan Drake having his first good game since Week 1 after I benched him in every league. But Frank Gore still played plenty, and then a couple of crazy Ryan Tannehill miscues (including a crazy Pick Six where he was clearly trying to spike the ball into the turf) and suddenly the Bengals won going away, on a day when their offense generally played poorly, but Joe Mixon was still good.
Ravens and Browns: Alex Collins owners are I suppose rightly annoyed by the usage of Javorius Allen, who is a pretty ordinary player who nonetheless gets a sizable workload. On the one hand, Collins did lose a goal-line fumble last week. On the other hand, what does Allen actually bring to the table that makes a difference in the team winning? They could line up a bunch of players at fullback to score from 2 yards out. He's a running version of Theo Riddick. Anyway, Browns have now played five games decided by 4 points or less. They might be undefeated with a better coaching staff, though I guess he was better than John Harbaugh today.
Packers at Lions: I looked up and saw the Lions out to a huge lead early, thinking, hey, all my Lions-powered lineups must be doing great! But on the downside, a huge early deficit won't help my savvy pick of an Aaron Jones breakout, since the Packers don't use him in passing situations. And indeed, Jones was limited by the deficit, and Detroit's offense was powered by a couple of LeGarrette Blount touchdowns, started by no one. Marvin Jones and Kenny Golladay scored and Jones just missed another bomb. Nice game for Marquez Valdes-Scantling (just missed a 2nd score), opportunity and volume counts for a lot. Brutal Mason Crosby day, it's not often you blame a kicker for an 8-point loss, but Packers fans probably are. Early deficit helped Green Bay's passing game, at least.
Jaguars at Kansas City: Ain't no slowing down Kansas City. Not quite as much as you'd hope for from Patrick Mahomes, but he chipped in a rushing TD and his team won easily. Jaguars put up some superfluous production late, but the bloom is off the rose a little on this defense. It's well-known that Andy Reid teams don't usually finish quite as strong as they being, but they're covering up pretty well for a suspect defense thus far. Jaguars upcoming schedule doesn't look overly friendly: in Dallas, versus Houston, and then the Eagles in London.
Broncos at Jets: So John Elway has done some good things while running the show in Denver, and a Super Bowl win counts for quite a lot. But the team has some issues right now, not the least of which is a defense that can't seem to stop everyone. The Jets rushed for ridiculous yardage, with Isaiah Crowell looking like Earl Campbell, and Sam Darnold, when he threw, dropping perfect dimes into the hands of Robby Anderson. Bizarrely, Quincy Enunwa was shutout. Phillip Lindsay looked like the best Bronco on the field; Demaryius Thomas finished with nice numbers thanks to a lucky touchdown bomb deep into garbage-time. Case Keenum won't start all season (yes, he finished with nice numbers; he didn't have a good day). Oh yeah, I went to this game. Entertaining, great seats, everyone should go every couple of years. But it's comically expensive, and if an 11- or so year-old attends his first game and is sitting behind you and hasn't learned the fine line between being enthusiastic and obnoxious, you can have some cringe-worthy moments. The lady who sang the National Anthem (Lilian Garcia, I'd never heard of her) wore a Jets jersey with No. 8 on it, which had me scrambling to look up famous Jets who wore No. 8. I got Nick Lowery and Browning Nagle. Yeah, OK.
Falcons at Steelers: Dpn't look now but what looked like one of the league's up-and-coming young defenses a couple of years ago might be the league's worst. Hey, they play the Bucs next week, so we'll see. Steelers hit on some big downfield plays to Antonio Brown, James Conner had a big day, Pittsburgh started off slow but won going away. And somehow a struggling secondary totally took away Julio Jones for most of the day. Austin Hooper had his first good game in a while, on my bench.
Raiders at Chargers: Getting the Chargers out of the way first, another great game for Philip Rivers, Melvin Gordon, Keenan Allen. And Austin Ekeler; if this guy ever gets 20 touches a game he might be a superstar. For the Raiders, it's safe to bench Amari Cooper (which if Kenyan Drake and Austin Hooper prove anything, means he'll have a very good game next week). Jalen Richard again usable when the Raiders fall way behind. Jon Gruden has a mess here, I think, much of which is of his own making.
Vikings at Eagles: Just when you think the Vikings can't play defense, they pretty much shut the Eagles down for most of this game. It was a close final score, and indeed the Eagles had their chances (Jay Ajayi lost a fumble near the goal line, Alshon Jeffery failed to hang onto a couple of passes to kill one drive), but the Vikings controlled this for most of the way. They actually had a key miscue that almost got the Eagles back into it, an incomplete pass to Roc Thomas that was actually a lateral, giving the Eagles a short field. But Adam Thielen, Stefon Diggs and Kirk Cousins all had big days. Nifty touchdown to Zach Ertz late. Eagles still really good, though playing the Giants on the road on Thursday won't be easy, either.
Cardinals at 49ers: Don't get too excited about Arizona scoring 28 points: 75-yard bomb, two short TDs set up by turnovers deep in San Francisco territory, and a fumble return touchdown. Winning with defense counts too, but a poor offensive outing again. Still, like that Christian Kirk guy, and David Johnson is making up for a slow start. Matt Breida scored early, got hurt. C.J. Beathard putting up usable fantasy numbers, but not playing particularly clean; tends to hold the ball too long. Two 1-4 teams headed for 4-12.
Rams at Seahawks: A surprisingly entertaining game, which happens sometimes when these teams meet. Actually the Rams only play entertaining games, with loads of offense and a guy who's winning fantasy teams on his own. So both Brandin Cooks and Cooper Kupp left with concussions, Kupp only after putting up a great first half. Both will be iffy to be cleared for next week, making Josh Reynolds your one-week fill-in. Seattle got 2 TDs out of David Moore, annoying because I put the guy on my dynasty watch list but figured I could wait another week, adding Chris Conley on the early-week thought that Sammy Watkins would sit out. Moore will be a hot pickup in fantasy leagues, looks like he's moved past Brandon Marshall and hard to know if Doug Baldwin is actually healthy 'cause he's doing zip. Tyler Lockett not a No. 1.
Cowboys at Texans: Jerry Jones says a reunion with Dez Bryant wouldn't help the Cowboys. Could it make things worse? It's kind of miraculous how a team's receivers could contribute so little. Dak Prescott is part of the problem, of course. The Cowboys wouldn't have gotten in the end zone at all, in five periods, but for a DeAndre Hopkins fumble inside his own 30. Brutal. Big game for Hopkins, and ultimately solid for Deshaun Watson. Could have won some money in this addictive one-game competition, but I switched off Keke Coutee (6 catches and a TD) due to his hamstring injury to start Cole Beasley (1 catch; in overtime). He's your slot receiver, how does that happen? Oh well.
Monday, Monday: So in this one league (no money, but still) I've lost two weeks in a row by a couple of points in the waning moments of Monday night, first to Ben Roethlisberger and then to Kareem Hunt. Whaddaya know, in that same league I'm up 28 this week and facing Alvin Kamara tonight. So we'll see. More importantly, the Saints were my Survivor pick this week. More than enough about me. Can't see the Saints losing at home, but maybe Alex Smith will go all Ryan Fitzpatrick on them. I'm calling it Saints 31, Washington 24.