If there's anything worse than watching a horrific football game between a terrible team and a decent team playing terribly, it's having a player in that game who plays throughout and somehow winds up with zero points. So it was for Mike Gesicki.
QUARTERBACKS
Starting with the Dolphins to hopefully get this out of my memory banks quickly. First off, perhaps Jacoby Brissett is a swell guy and kind to his mother and children and puppies and whatnot. But if I never have to watch him quarterback another football game it will be too soon. He moves like he has a broken leg. He delivers passes as if his receivers have their hands situated in their ankles. He operates the play clock as if snapping the ball before there's a second left might be penalized in some fashion. On two occasions he reacted as if he'd suffered a career-ending injury, only to be perfectly fine a minute later. He made a couple of nice throws to Isaiah Ford before the half that gave the Dolphins the lead they never gave up, so credit for that. I also saw him nearly beat the Raiders a few weeks back. But definitely one of the most painful quarterback performances I've seen all year last night.
Tua Tagovailoa was a little better. Not much, but at least he moves around like somebody who had at least a conversational relationship with athleticism at some point in his life. Hit the big play late to a completely uncovered receiver that sealed the win. Much has been made of how exactly Tagovailoa is healthy enough to serve as the backup but not the starting quarterback. I...don't have an answer. I'd rather watch Tua play with two broken arms than see Brissett under center again. Should be Tagovailoa against the Jets next week.
Lamar Jackson did not have a good game. Had a tough time dealing with Miami's safety blitzes throughout the game, and just looked like he was kind of sleepwalking out there. Jackson, too, didn't seem to have a good grasp of clock management at times, and was slow to see pressure. But Jackson wasn't helped by his team around him, particularly Sammy Watkins stopping his route on what should been a touchdown. Jackson's fine and he deserves some MVP votes, but last night wasn't a good example of what he can do on the field.
RUNNING BACKS
I was actually impressed by Devonta Freeman. The yards per attempt weren't there, but he looked pretty good running it -- more juice than he had the first couple of times I'd seen him this year. LeVeon Bell, comparatively, looked like he was running backward, which probably accounts for Bell's limited usage; didn't show up last night. I don't imagine anyone will want to put either of these guys into a lineup after last night, but Freeman at least looked like he might have a decent game in a good matchup in his future. Bell (who was good a week ago) looked like he should retire immediately.
Over the last two games Myles Gaskin has carried 34 times for 65 yards. In a word, yikes. He had a touchdown last week, and nearly scored last night, but the Dolphins decided to let their injured quarterback sneak it in on first down instead. Gaskin running the ball inside almost -- almost -- makes it understandable that the Dolphins have Malcolm Brown on their roster. But he's solid as a pass catcher, in general, having caught 6 balls a week ago. Last night, naturally, he had only 2 passes thrown his way, one of which bounced off his hands; it was a little hot. (A third, actually, where Gaskin wasn't even looking for it and a guard acted like he was the intended receiver, catching it and running head over heels to the end zone. Amusing play, but weird that a guard would believe he should grab that ball. Erased by penalty.) If you started Gaskin, I'm sorry. His modest passing game usage was unfortunate and unexpected. The less said about Salvon Ahmed the better. Interesting that (according to Jay Glazer) the Dolphins offered 3 first-round picks and 2 second-round picks for Deshaun Watson while not having an NFL running back on the roster either.
(Aside on that trade: if the Dolphins actually offered that, and the Texans got cold feet because they believe they can get more, we are literally living in an alternate universe. It's mind-numbing to think quarterbacks are so important that one team would give up five early picks and another team would think that's not enough. But these are stupid teams, so maybe.)
WIDE RECEIVERS
There were three good wideouts in this game. Marquise Brown, Jaylen Waddle and Rashod Bateman. Brown didn't finish with great numbers, but he was OK, and was clearly a defensive focus for Miami. I would have no problem continuing to start him going forward; he might actually be underrated.
Waddle is at the center of a horrible trade Miami never should have made, giving up its first-round pick next year (which will be a top-5 pick) to move up from 12. An unconscionable move. But he's a good player and had a good game last night. A building block on a roster that doesn't have many of those.
Bateman also looked like a nice pick by the Ravens. Had a couple nice plays, and if there are any plays in the offense where Sammy Watkins is on the field and Bateman isn't, those need to be deleted immediately.
Watkins had a brutal game, arguably the main reason Baltimore didn't win. Should have caught a touchdown early on, then fumbled away a catch for a defensive score that enabled Miami to win. Not gonna pile on, and Watkins was coming back from injury, but since he's bound to get hurt again eventually and seems in no way better than Bateman right now, they need to get him off the field again.
Miami had a couple of big plays in this one from Albert Wilson and Isaiah Ford, although Ford's obliviousness to the fact that timeouts are precious and drives that end at halftime don't continue in the third quarter was stupefying. Twice he caught balls near the sideline but rather than step out of bounds he turned back into the field to get another 3 yards (while forcing his team to use timeouts, and ultimately kick a field goal rather than run another couple of plays). Granted Miami would have probably had a false start or some other moronic penalty to take any potential touchdown off the board. Anyhoo, Wilson and Ford were better than Preston Williams, for whatever that's worth. But not fantasy options.
TIGHT ENDS
Mark Andrews finished with serviceable numbers thanks to a touchdown where a Miami defender decided to stop covering him for some reason. Adam Shaheen had a great catch and Durham Smythe had a few targets, but neither should be anywhere near a lineup. Which brings us to Mike Gesicki.
It was hard to watch last night's game and not feel sympathy for Gesicki, and those of us who started him. His first two targets were near-catches that just eluded him; one nearly a spectacular downfield grab. Disappointing, but if you started him you're thinking, OK, big numbers a'coming. But after that there 6 targets (including one erased by a penalty) that were low, high, well behind him when he was wide open, or when he was blanketed by two defenders and didn't have a prayer of getting his hands on them. So Gesicki took his second zero of the year and he'll be benched everywhere next week. Not by me; I'm giving him another chance. He's good, a whole game of a healthier Tua will be good for him, and he had to have got all of his bad luck out of his system last night.
I think I've beaten this game to death, so I'm calling it here. Sorry for those who were eliminated from their Survivor Pools. I hate to pick road teams on short weeks for just this reason. Baltimore wasn't ready to play, neither was Miami, but sometimes the team that didn't travel makes out a little bit better.