The first thing I want to get off my chest about the Pro Bowl is that the thing ended at close to 11:00 pm Eastern. This is a big deal primarily because the only people I personally knew with much interest in watching it were under the age of 10. I am certain when I was a kid the Pro Bowl was on at 4 pm or 6 pm. It's a game for the fans and especially the young ones, who don't care that it's hardly real football, so how about putting the thing on earlier?
That being said, it ended up being more entertaining than I expected -- I'm embarrassed to admit I actually didn't want to go to bed until I saw how it turned out. So I watched it all for you. Here were my in-game observations.
Tony Gonzalez says he's "at peace" with decision to retire. Other than Jerry Rice, I can't think of another receiver off the top of my head who looked as good out there at an advanced age as Gonzalez does. Made one great catch during the game.
A lot of fans were dressed as empty seats. Only a little surprising, but still; I'd go. You can always enjoy the sun and surf the next day, and TiVo the Grammys.
A brief note on the coaches. Deion Sanders boldly wearing a gray beard, looked like the frostbitten guy chopping bottles out of a glacier in the beer commercial. Jerry Rice actually looked younger and healthier, although I'm not sure what he was thinking wearing a backward visor. The only reason to wear a visor, ever, is to shield your eyes from the sun, right?
No kickoffs. That's where the league is going.
Philip Rivers and Drew Brees teammates again. San Diego has done pretty well drafting quarterbacks. Brees was sacked twice on his first three plays, the second of which he was absolutely buried by two guys. Kind of an ugly pile up on one of the league's top quarterbacks. Andrew Luck was also sacked on his second play, although it was erased by penalty. That's not what the NFL is looking for out of this game.
My young son hates Nick Foles. I have no idea why. "Because he's mean. And he tied Peyton's record of 7 TDs." Others have done it too, I point out. "Then I guess I don't like them either."
Cordarrelle Patterson hit in the knees on a punt return. Not pretty. That will be what finally, finally kills the Pro Bowl: a star suffering a major injury. Which is inevitable, especially the way quarterbacks were being hit in this game (10 sacks, if you count one erased by penalty, which we should. The guy still got hit).
The McDonald's commercial with players voiced being dubbed is really stupid, and insulting. I actually feel bad for Joe Flacco and everyone else in it.
DeSean Jackson hauls in a flea-flicker touchdown from Andrew Luck despite double coverage, pretty sweet. (For those who paid no attention to the changes and missed the two-day draft, it was an unconferenced Pro Bowl, so teammates in the NFL could end up on opposing teams. Which leads us to....)
Jamaal Charles drilled in the head at the end of a run by teammate but now opponent Derrick Johnson. Helmet to helmet hit. Will Johnson be fined? Or at least severely reprimanded, one hopes, by Andy Reid and anyone connected with Kansas City? Charles, who Johnson of all people should recall, was knocked out of the team's playoff game with a concussion! Come on, man!
Marcel Reece with two early receptions. Best RB in Oakland next year? Don't rule it out.
Great diving interception by Vontaze Burfict. Key to Cincinnati's defense this past year, and going forward.
Brees leads team down to 1-yard line but doesn't get offense in. Expecting to see some turnover in the Saints offense next year. Can't imagine the same running back/receiving corps around him in 2014. Speaking of which, Jimmy Graham appears to have an unusual thinning hair thing going on. "Looks like he has mange," was the term tossed around the living room.
Josh Gordon is awesome. Caught 6 passes for 66 yards and a touchdown and frequently looked like a man among boys out there. New coaching staff and quarterback next year, of course, but hard to bet against him having another big season. Sweet touchdown reception in the corner of the end zone from Philip Rivers.
Near TD bomb from Brees to Alshon Jeffery. Jeffery also looks great. Then TD to Graham and faintly comical Brees celebratory whoop. Cross between a cheer and, I don't know, a cry for help.
Alfred Morris lost a fumble. I would say no big deal, but Morris also lost three fumbles in the final three games of the season (I realize no one was paying attention). But Washington has a new head coach who didn't draft Morris, so it's just something to file away in the back of your mind. By the way, Morris also caught 4 passes for 69 yards. Seriously! Morris caught 9 passes all of last season. Maybe the new coaching staff will think about flipping him a pass every now and again.
J.J. Watt pretended to surf after a sack. Ho ho. Kids would have liked it if they'd still been up.
Sweet Nick Foles to Antonio Brown bomb. You like to see guys who had big seasons carrying it over to the Pro Bowl. Well, I do anyway.
Leaping TD by Cameron, followed by a female fan leaping out of the stands and running around the field for a minute or two. Security had perhaps nodded off? Or else she was really fast.
I was a little worried about Jamaal Charles still carrying it deep into the fourth quarter. Truth be told, probably most of my interest in the game was in my dynasty players (Charles, Gordon, Rivers) not getting hurt. Only reported injuries were Jarius Byrd (said he was fine afterward) and an ankle issue for LeSean McCoy (also not serious, reportedly). So the NFL and dynasty owners dodge a bullet for another season.
DeMarco Murray receiving TD in final minute to pull Rice team within 1. They go for 2, thankfully, and Mike Tolbert scores (although if replay were used in this game, they'd probably still be looking at where his knee went down). Team Sanders drives into near field goal range, but a 67-yarder from Justin Tucker falls short. And that's your ball game.
Factoid near the end revealed that winning pro bowl players get $53,000, losing players get $26,000. That's a lot of money to stand around in the sun (I guess it was raining, but still) and wear butt ugly uniforms. Winning Super Bowl players, in contrast, get $39,000. Really?
After the game they handed out MVP awards and accidentally referenced "the Super Bowl trophy." Nick Foles named offensive MVP even though his team lost; they couldn't find anyone on the winning team to give the thing to? Foles had to give a speech, which was kind of awkward. "Uh, thanks for coming to watch us!" was the gist of it.
Uh, thanks for reading.